Pedicure of the Soul

Part of my desert experience in Mexico involved God removing the callouses that had encrusted my soul by a lifetime of living in the USA. After a few month of living in Kino, I began to notice that whenever we would have to come back to the US for supplies I would feel a sense of oppression when crossing the border. This happened enough times that I began to ponder and contemplate it's meaning. I saw in my minds eyes a bubble over this country. This bubble was the spirit of oppression. It controls the people and causes them to be in a state of constant motion. Much unrest and no peace. I began to dread the trip because of the distress this caused me. It was so peaceful and simple in Mexico. I felt a freedom to just sit back and enjoy the beauty of God's creation. I felt like he had given me a pedicure of the soul. Gently, as I soaked in his presence the layers of dead skin and callouses were removed. He polished my heart and gave me a youthfulness that I hadn't had in many, many years.

After I moved back to Louisiana, I began to feel the pressure of the "daily grind". Remembering those feelings of peace in Mexico and unable to find them in my new life has caused me depression and confusion. In fact, not only have I been unable to find peace, but without my callouses as protection, I have been feeling so much pain and sorrow that I spend many hours a day in tears crying out to God for the injustice and horrors that we as humans inflict on one another. Weeping over the state of our Nation and the world. This new sensitivity has been very disconcerting to me. For months I have not been able to understand why I have been acting and feeling like such a big cry baby. It has almost been embarrassing. I have always been a strong person. In control of my emotions and my life. Now all of a sudden I am a weeping willow. Crying out over everything. I even begin to wonder if I am going crazy. Instead of embracing life with robust enthusiasm, I began to isolate, afraid to be out in the general public for my bizarre behavior. I started seeing a counselor and even contemplated medication. But then I would converse with God and tell Him, it is not right that God's child should need those things, those worldly things, in order to cope with my emotions. Although they made no sense to me they are still very real to me and I begged him to explain it to me.

God is so Faithful. Just when I come to the end of myself , he sends his messengers to shed His light on my situation. Holding me close he spoke to me. Saying that I am right. I do not need those things, he is showing me what it is to be human. To see the world through his eyes. The world is in a mess. This country, as she turns from her covenant with him, has allowed the spirit of oppression to surround her and encompass her. God's heart is breaking. His eyes are crying. He has so much hope for us, but our decisions are causing a series of events that will continue to bring pain and suffering to our people. Then he reminded me of his promise,

2 Chronicles 7:14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.